Saturday, March 17, 2012

Not a Night of Patience

What's worse? One broken heart, or one broken heart over two lost chances?

It's just one of those nights when something from the past comes up and tears off the bandages I had around my heart... There are all the little things remind me of how things used to be, and the fact that I still haven't moved on from all the shoulda-coulda-wouldas. I honestly don't know what else to say, that wouldn't be repeating myself from the year that's past. Names that have gone unheard for so long are brought up again by the places I had been with him, or by where he used to live. With him, we had something that could have been wonderful. And with he, we had a friendship that I would trade the world to get back. I can't see typing more without distinguishing the two apart from one another, but I can't justify writing more.

I'm not even sure why I started to type this in the first place...

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My thoughts are all muddled up....

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I'm trying to move on but my heart is grasping at straws that are stuck in the past. I'm so close to summer, to college, that I just need to be patient to get a fresh start. To get away from all the familiar places and the familiar pain. Meet some new people, maybe fall in love again. To feel like I belong to something based upon who I really am, not what people think I am.

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Patience is a virtue, but it's not my middle name.

6 comments:

  1. well it's still st. paddy's day, drink up!!

    kidding.

    in all seriousness, just stay strong and keep living life to the fullest. you're still an awesome person regardless.

    where are you thinkin' of going to college?

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  2. also, the new theme / background looks great!!

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  3. also also! sorry, i keep remembering things... check out the band Dashboard Confessional if you haven't already; got some great heartfelt music that may help soothe!

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  4. (: Thank you,I'm picky and wanted a change so I went for a complete makeover lol I think I'm going to go to Albright College, and if I had my iPod on me, I think I would find that I have a song of theirs or two but I left it at my grandparents lol I will definitely put them on my radar though!

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  5. What you'll find Stephanie is that college will allow your a brand new start in life...in many ways your life will start anew and that's an incredibly wonderful thing to think about :)

    Move forward...eyes ahead :) it's going to be an amazing journey

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    Replies
    1. I'm so excited... and I'm sure once May comes it'll be full speed ahead and everything I know now will be history lol

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