As I close my eyes,
a movie plays.
The reel of life flashes across the darkness.
Memories so vivid,
it brings feeling back into my heart.
Even the pain of all this confusion is better than feeling nothing.
Each scene begins and ends as quickly as the first,
but there's no rhyme or reason to it.
My emotions are running high,
and my patience is on the contrary.
Frustration contorts my body,
and soon I'm bent in two.
Tears run down my cheek,
only to fall upon my toes.
It's like a dam has a hole
and it's grown to let drops as big as peas through.
I open my eyes,
hoping to find some semblance of what used to be.
I dig deep within myself but it doesn't make sense.
I can't find the feeling..
the sense of home...
I just don't know.
I don't know if what i'm doing,
is supposed to be,
or if I'm just lying to myself.
I scream so loud that...
only my thoughts can hear the pain.
After what seems like hours of sobbing,
I roll over in exhaustion.
My eyes fall shut.
All power is cut off.
And no movie begins again.