Thursday, August 09, 2012

Mother Hen

If there was ever a word or phrase I would use to describe myself, without seeming self centered or full of myself, I'd say I'm a "Mother Hen".... You see, I don't really have a specific group of friends I hang out with anymore, I more so am a floating entity among many. But regardless of who you are, I want to be there for you. If I can be just an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry upon, I will do my best to be that person you can trust your life and your stories to. It's just that I... I don't really know what it's like to have that kind of person. And that's okay. I'm not used to opening up to people. I write. That's how I keep things from bottling up inside of me. I can't let the pressure build up again... It was a lonely, dark and scary path that I walked just to release it, and I could have gone down farther if I didn't reach for soft ink instead of cold metal. Surprising? It really shouldn't be, I've wrote about it before. But no worries, because I've decided that my life isn't about me. Sure I need to take care of myself, make sure I'm safe and happy and all... but I'm pretty sure I'm more so here to be there for others. Take tonight for example. This girl who I merely sat with at the lunch table last year and I have grown to be friends and had posted a status about needing something to cheer her up. So me, knowing that she had some friends that were going to be at the fire I was heading to, invited her along. We ended up sitting near the fire and just talking... We talked about divorce, how terrible dads can be, and the future of what was going to happen when it time to get married. We talked about having crushes and relationships, first kisses and mistakes. I told her things that at this point I'd tell anyone if it would make them feel better in knowing that I know what it's like to feel terrible and not know where to go. Quite simply, I'm still here because I need to be. I don't know where my life long journey is taking me, but I've been there for the people that need me. I will continue to be here for those who need someone to count on. They may not know it, but I will always keep an eye and an ear out for them. I've seen what troubles look like within my very own soul, and I can see it in yours.

4 comments:

  1. Can totally relate to this. I'm only a little older than you, but I still think it's awesome that you turn to writing instead of bottling things up at your age because at your age I was losing a battle with depression and some other not so fun things (sorry if that sounded old-y or pretentious). I'm still trying to work on not bottling things up. Keep writing! It's encouraging.

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    1. Thank you and I completely understand... Like I said above, if you ever need anyone to turn to, I can at the very least listen(:

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  2. Hi Stephanie,
    I just followed the link on Twitter, where I virtually *met* you just yesterday.
    Plain curiosity led me to your blog where I found proof once again that there's so much more than meets the eye, when you stumble upon a tweet(er).
    It's very sad to read that you have kind of a dark, unhappy past. I will not ask about it, although I could probably find more hints about it in the rest of your 'organized mess', as you call it.
    But beside this, it's quite remarkable and praiseworthy that you use your special powers of awesomeness to lend a listening ear to all people who need it. I'm humbled by those Who always seem to be there for anyone on need of a friend.
    Much kudos to you, little one!
    And I sincerely hope that you can find such amazing friends, when YOU need them.

    'sir' Cliff

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    1. While it is the internet that has brought us together from two sides of the world, I am glad to have found a friend in you. Thank you for all the kind words.(:

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