Thursday, August 09, 2012
If there was ever a word or phrase I would use to describe myself, without seeming self centered or full of myself, I'd say I'm a "Mother Hen".... You see, I don't really have a specific group of friends I hang out with anymore, I more so am a floating entity among many. But regardless of who you are, I want to be there for you. If I can be just an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry upon, I will do my best to be that person you can trust your life and your stories to. It's just that I... I don't really know what it's like to have that kind of person. And that's okay. I'm not used to opening up to people. I write. That's how I keep things from bottling up inside of me. I can't let the pressure build up again... It was a lonely, dark and scary path that I walked just to release it, and I could have gone down farther if I didn't reach for soft ink instead of cold metal. Surprising? It really shouldn't be, I've wrote about it before. But no worries, because I've decided that my life isn't about me. Sure I need to take care of myself, make sure I'm safe and happy and all... but I'm pretty sure I'm more so here to be there for others. Take tonight for example. This girl who I merely sat with at the lunch table last year and I have grown to be friends and had posted a status about needing something to cheer her up. So me, knowing that she had some friends that were going to be at the fire I was heading to, invited her along. We ended up sitting near the fire and just talking... We talked about divorce, how terrible dads can be, and the future of what was going to happen when it time to get married. We talked about having crushes and relationships, first kisses and mistakes. I told her things that at this point I'd tell anyone if it would make them feel better in knowing that I know what it's like to feel terrible and not know where to go. Quite simply, I'm still here because I need to be. I don't know where my life long journey is taking me, but I've been there for the people that need me. I will continue to be here for those who need someone to count on. They may not know it, but I will always keep an eye and an ear out for them. I've seen what troubles look like within my very own soul, and I can see it in yours.