I woke up today at 7 like any other normal Monday, Wednesday or Friday... and it's the first and most important thing to be grateful for. I feel that at this point, after hearing about all the tragedies back home, and knowing what some of my own friends are going through, I have to say that there is always hope. I know what those other kids were saying made you feel like nothing, I know what it's like to have no answers. I know what it's like to be at the mercy of the hands of time.... But don't loose hope. I know it's too late to help you now, you've moved on. But to those you left behind, and perhaps you can keep this in mind in that new world you're now part of. Don't loose hope. It's the last thing you will have in the end. I've had this idea of hope for a little over a year now, and it goes a little something like this:
"Although it may seem like there's no hope in sight, don't let go. Don't loose sight of who you are and what you aspire to be. Because there is always hope. Hope is there, under your skin, pulsing throughout your body. For as long as there is a heart to keep you living, there is hope that tomorrow may bring a better day. There is hope that the hands that are only your own may make your troubles go away. You have the power to make your life the best it is. Even if you can't change the circumstances, the state of mind you perceeve them in makes all the difference. Sometimes the reminder is all in the wrist..." (originally seen here)
I am so sorry that you thought it was your time to go. You had so much life left to live. But the bottom line is this, what's done is done. We can only look forward now. Comfort those who need it, give space to others. Everyone's taking it one day at a time. Things will look up, as long as you believe in the hope that it will.